i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
