Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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