Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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