TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
