my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
