yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
