just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
