He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
