he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
