I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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