is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
