he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
