i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
