Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
