I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
