youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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