Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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