don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
