My brain says no but my pants say off.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
