What a fucking waste of an outfit
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
