that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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