we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize