He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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