He kissed a someone with a penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
