What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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