first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
