It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
