You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
