hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
