I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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