who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
