Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
