drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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