Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
