OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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