i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
