He kissed a someone with a penis
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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