Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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