..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
