you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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