Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
