Do you still have your period?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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