i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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