marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
