What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
