That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
