Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
