You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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