we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He better not be in your backpack
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
