He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
