Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
