READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
