I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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