I wish i was in the wii world.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
