the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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