are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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