From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
