she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
