remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
