if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
